


Saying Goodbye

by Kitty Rainbow (KittyRainbow)



Category: Artemis Fowl - Colfer
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-06
Updated: 2002-07-06
Packaged: 2017-10-04 19:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyRainbow/pseuds/Kitty%20Rainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the funeral of a close friend, Holly thinks over some of the choices she made in life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saying Goodbye

The sky was a bleak and sorrowful grey, and a tortured wind teased the trees' branches - whipping them back and forth, as though they insignificant. Soft rain drizzled down, soaking everything. It was not a comfortable atmosphere, but somehow, Holly felt it was appropriate. Today was not a day for sunshine and smiles; today was the day for saying goodbye to an old friend for the last time.

Clutching her cloak tightly to her chest and shivering, Holly sniffed as a raindrop dripped off the end of her nose. Or perhaps it was a tear. Holly didn't know, and she didn't care either. What was knowing where the droplet hailed from, when Artemis Fowl was dead?

Holly looked up, to peer through the obscuring rain at whomever was standing opposite her. When she realised who it was, her heart jolted. Juliet. Oh, Juliet! She looked so beautiful, so grown up. And Holly had barely aged. That was what made this so hard to bear. If Artemis had been a fairy, then he wouldn't have been lying cold in a wooden casket. Cancer was a human disease, not a fairy one.

But if Artemis had been a fairy... Holly squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. If he had been a fairy, not only would he be alive, but... No, it was too much to bear. Holly couldn't think about it, think about what they could have had.

Both of them had always know the impossibility of a relationship between a human and a fairy. It was taboo. Something that had been ingrained in Holly from birth would prevent her from ever entering into such a thing, no matter what her heart was screaming at her. They had both almost gracefully accepted that what each of them wanted most in the world could never be. That was just the way it was. Holly's fairy instincts and Artemis's intellect had eased what pain came from the folly of never reaching for the circumstances they wanted. Perhaps, in some way, just the two of them knowing they loved each other was enough.

Holly had always assumed that Artemis would marry Juliet instead; he loved her too, though not quite in the same way. His affection for her was not so deep, but it was still of a size that it could be called "love". Yet, for some reason - or perhaps no reason - this had never come to pass. And then, a year ago, Juliet had married someone else. He stood next to her today, with an arm around her shoulders, an image of strength and security. They were meant for each other, people said.

And now they were lowering the coffin into the grave. The circle of black clad figures surrounding the hole watched with solemn eyes. Although Artemis had died a few days ago, aged only twenty-five, it wouldn't truely seem like the end until the last spadeful of earth - or mud as it was now - was turned into the hole. But Holly knew it was too late. It had always been too late. There had never even been a chance for the two of them to be together.

The pall-bearers were now filling up the space between the wood and the world, closing off the man who had been Artemis from the living. This was goodbye. In some ways, Holly felt as though she had said that years ago. She had loved Artemis and he had loved her, but they had parted. And they had not held hands or shared any kisses. But she had had his love. What had changed?

Holly hung her head. She did not want to watch. Nothing had changed, and that was what hurt so much. It was only her, her fairy blood, which had prevented the both of them being so happy. Why had she let that happen? Why couldn't she have just let go of everything she knew, and have held him in her arms instead? It sounded so simple, but it wasn't. It really wasn't.

But now it was done. She had said no, and Artemis was buried. It was over. Holly turned, still unsure of whether it was the sky's tears or her own on her cheeks, and began to walk down the gravel path towards the cast iron gate that led to the rest of the world, and the rest of her life.

"Holly," came a half-whispered voice, softly urgent. She paused, hesitated, and looked back just as Juliet laid a hand on her shoulder. "Holly," she repeated, "Artemis left this with me. Before he died." She smiled a faint smile, sympathetic and encouraging. But what with the weather, and the tears in her eyes, that gesture meant nothing. "Take it," she said. And then Holly looked at her friend's other hand. Lying on her outstretched palm was a small, round, golden object.

With trembling fingers, Holly reached out to take it. She lifted it from Juliet's hand, and held it between thumb and forefinger, staring at it like it didn't - couldn't - exist. Then she closed her hand around it, and tried to smile at Juliet. "Thank you." Juliet nodded once, and then made her own way down the path, linking arms with her husband along the way.

As the two of them moved away, Holly drew her hand close to her chest and opened it. Artemis's final gift shone back at her, surprisingly bright on this dreary day. But then, it was pure gold. Fairy gold.

It was the coin she had given him after they had rescued his father. But it was different now. He had widened the hole in the center - although why or how, she did not know. It was smoother too, less a coin and more a band...

Drawing in a short gasp, Holly froze. Then she slipped it onto the fourth finger of her right hand. Less a coin now, and more a ring. But still a token of friendship, and now love - though once, the thing of the heart which it had represented had been quite different. Decency, in fact.

What had changed? Nothing. She still had his love.


End file.
